My goals are not necessarily everyone else's top priority. I know, it sucks, right?

 I have been debating about this blog for a while. My writing group and my best friend, La La Michelle (always happy, so annoying to an ornery person like myself),  have been encouraging me. I even quit my job in January 2010 to pursue this writing thing.  Ended up just, kinda, well, sleeping a lot. Not my most productive year.


Well, when I finally sat down and put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?),  I wanted some feedback before I actually published. I mean, really. I don't really care what people think but there is no need to humiliate myself. So I sent the first three posts to E, my writing coach, and La La Michelle.


E is this wonderful, funny, warm, published author. She is a breast cancer survivor. She always has this bright, cheery, grateful to be alive outlook -  not in a weird way. She is very normal. La La Michelle is also very optimistic and upbeat. She is the Rah Rah to my Blah Blah.  Both of these lovely women were sending me emails and phoning me - write, write, write.


So I sent the three posts. I hear nothing. Every time my phone dinged, I ran to check my email. I was like a teenage girl waiting for a boy to call. Not a peep. After all the nagging, nothing? Then the paranoia set in. "Oh my God, they are having coffee together, trying to decide the best way to tell me I suck." Days go by. Now I talk to La La Michelle almost daily, except on weekends, but I don't hear from her.  Then I move to the next phase. Anger. Well, not real anger, just kind of "What the hell? anger. So I send them a nice, short reminder email that I am waiting for feedback. It said "You are both dead to me."


A few minutes later,  La La Michelle calls. Effective note, right? "Oh, I am so sorry. My mother-in-law is in the hospital and my husband is out of town. My daughter has strep throat. The fund-raiser I am organizing for the poor in Appalachia just got a major donor, etc. I will read it immediately." Ok, I feel kind of badly, sounds like she has a lot going on. But hey, she's going to read it!


Then I get a note from E. Here is what it said

"Dear Amy my dear—you are brilliant! I lOVE it and I’m just wondering why on earth you are not a first-class and NY Times Bestseller with a book—seriously you must think about it because your blog sounds like a Janet Evanovich type of book.

BTW, I may be dead to you, but you are NOT dead to me! No matter how hard I try to be organized, it doesn’t always happen the way I’ve drawn my map."

Crap. Now I just feel like dirt. They couldn't just be busy. No, they had to have major things happening. I really should be taking them meals. (Not really 'cause my cooking is, well, BAD.)  And I told them they were dead to me! 


So I have learned a few lessons. 1). I am not the center of everyone's universe. (I HATE this.)
2). I should have some self-confidence.  They LOVED it. 


Me Me Me Me Me.